*** Happy Birthday Mommy ***

Happy, Happy Happy Birthday Mommy! May you have more to come. Uhmmm... hinay - hinay sa love life ha! Ang australian, dadating pa sa December. Heheehehehe... Talo mo talaga ako pagdating sa appeal! :D I love you so much. Uwi ka naman sa bahay at wag ka naman palage jan sa Laguna. Miss ka na ng mga bata. Yoya sila ng Yoya eh!

WE LOVE YOU!

Love from,
Nela Ganda, Sam, Sajie and Nicko

*** So-So Whatever State ***

The past few days have been lazy for me. Work has become ultra boring that I have actually missed quite a number of days from work just to be with my kids. The environment in the office sucks! BIG TIME! In my opinion, the updates within the floor was a total joke for me and the rest of the tenured guys. (Never mind what other people are going to say. This is my blog. This is my opinion). Such power trippers. Such ass kissers. (To a certain few - you deserve what has given to you.) Whatever. Not bitter, just disgusted with how the system in the office works. I almost totally lost it. Resigning right then and there. Good thing, my friend kept me intact, and hubby was supportive enough to listen to my grudges at work. Such a supportive partner. :D

Enihows, life has been going on. With weirder stuff everyday. I dunno. I guess what I really need is good pampering and rest. Lots and lots of rest. Plan to have a vacation, just dont know when. There are really days that I feel so off at work, that I just want to go home, if not for the bills and the pride -- I probably would've resigned. Will just wait until I get my 13th month pay on December. Lets see what happens if I can still take the joke. If I can, will probably last until I leave for US next year (hopefully), if I can no longer take it, will just say good bye come February. If the January plan will push through, will probably say bye-bye to the office come January. :D (And I am really wishing the our plan in January will push through -- I really need this more than ever)

Plus the fact the kids are getting charmer and charmer everyday. I really cannot believe how fast time flies with my kids. Sajie has been the malambing one, but Nicko is also malambing, but he's more pikon than his Kuya. Sajie is excited to go to school this summer, Nicko is now learning to write, well, just doodle, using both his hands. I wonder if he'll be left handed. Sajie is right handed, like me. :D Such intelligent, charming little ones. :D I love them so, very much!

Back to work, everybody else has become a complete mum about the "updates". Although, the tenured guys wanna express their side as well. We're still debating whether we are going to send the email or not, of if our plans will push through (so many plans!har!har), we leave altogether. We're also planning to hit the beach after the Christmas season, Im planning to do it with my family before the holidays. Maybe in time for Nicko's birthday. If we have the budget, maybe we will have a vacation together with the family. Basically, me, hubby, Saj, Nick and Ate Josie. Will still ask mom to join us so she can spend the holidays with us as well. Still feel bad that she and Papa broke up already, but there's news. Her best friend who is based in Australia is introducing a new Australian guy to my mom. The guy's quite interested. Let's see if she'll give this one a chance. They will be coming home this December, and maybe the guy will be with my mom's bestfriend. Hahahaha... Good one mom! Lakas talaga ng appeal mo. Hahahahahha! Love my mom so much. Im not really that expressive, but I really do.

*** The Weeks After ***

Almost a month after Delaine's untimely demise, things are back to our normal state. We have been going on with our lives, which is what we know she wants. I got to talk to her siblings last week, and we all feel the same way. "Parang nasa abroad lang si Delaine". Which is true. It feels like she's just somewhere out there, not physically present, but you just know she's there.

As for me, I have been trying so hard to get over my trauma. I can now go to the bathroom of my office alone. During the first week, it was so hard for me to go to the bathroom alone. But now, I'm fine, although there are times that I just leave the door of the bathroom open (not the cubicle alright!) :D

It took me two weeks to actually sleep again without the lights. Imagine the sacrifice hubby and my babies are doing. It was so hard for me to sleep with out the lights. I honestly cant breathe. I cant sleep. But thanks to my hubby's patience and support, now I can go to bed without the lights, just like before. :D

I have also been trying to take a bath without somebody waiting for me outside our bathroom. The last weeks, I always wake up hubby to accompany me to go down stairs, but this morning, I was able to do it alone! Yahoo! What an accomplishment! :D

But still, there are times that I find myself thinking about what happened. I know in due time, all things will heal. Just imagine, I'm just her friend, and I feel like this. What more does her siblings feel?

I know that in God's own good time, everything will heal, and that everything will be near-normal state again.

And I pray for that to happen soon.

*** One September Night (Part 2) ***

Continuation....


Tintin called me at around 10:30 confirming the news of Delaine's death. DELAINE IS DEAD. I was staring at the wall trying to digest the words. That can't be true. This means that I wont be seeing her seating outside with her towel, her white sando and shorts. I wont be hearing her call Nicko,"Kuykuy", I wont be receiving any text messages from her anymore. These words were a complete shock to me. I never imagined I would get to experience this. I have never imagined that this can happen to a neighbor, much more to a friend. I was trying to console Michele. What happened? Why did I not hear anything? Did she ask for help? What happened to her? Did she had a seizure. I tried to ask Michele the questions, but like me, she didn't know what happened as well. We all know for a fact that Delaine had goiter, but I dont think goiter be the main cause for her demise. Maybe she had a stroke, or an epileptic seizure, or a heart attack. At this point, there were so many questions, the overwhelming situation didn't help either.

Tin called me up asking if we can contact their mom who was in Japan that time. Me call their mom? HELL NO. NO WAY. But I knew I had to. I was trying to be strong, and I was trying to act as calm as possible and try to console Michele, who was incosolable at that moment. But the worst thing was she had to call their relatives to tell them of the news of what happened. I have never answered so many personal phone calls in my entire life. I didn't even think that it was possible to asnwer 3 calls all at once. Two with a cell phone, and one with a landline. I didn't even know what I was doing or saying that time, so when Tin asked me to contact their mom, my mind went blank. I didn't even know how to call overseas, but in a twist of fate, I was able to dial their mom's number without me even knowing. Their landline rang, and since Michele didn't want to answer the phone, I answered the phone. It was their mom. Uh-oh. She asked why we called her phone. I asked her if she was their mom, since I really dont know her voice, I introduced myself to her, and told her that Michele needs to talk to her. I handed the phone to Michele, and told her to tell her mom what happened. That was the worst thing. My heart went out to Nanay Rose, when I heard her shout. I was two - three feet away, and I swear, I heard her wailing. Her grief was indescribable. As a mom myself, I dont think I can bear that if I am away, and if anything like happens to my children. My heart went out to mother and child, and although they were talking in the Visayan dialect, I understood them.

I had to bring Michele to the hospital. Good thing, hubby's best friend, Erdy heard the news, and even asked me why did we not call him? I was like, I dont know what to think anymore. Erdy told me to get dressed so we can go to the hospital. He had to tell that twice because I was already spaced out, and just didn't hear him the first time he told me because I was in total, complete shock. Up to this very day, I still could not describe how shock I was.

When I saw Delaine in the hospital, I knew I had to get out of the emergency room. It reminded me of my Daddy's death 14 years ago. I still could not believe it. I really cant. I was trying to be strong as the next person, but I knew I was fooling myself all too well. I knew that any moment, I can just break down and cry.

I went outside of the emergency room trying to get some fresh air. I saw Jay-R and Yeyel, seated at a corner, looking glum and shocked as well. I decided to join them, Jay -R offered me his seat then stood beside me. Erdy decided to join us when he knew that I was outside. We were trying to talk about what happened, we were actually the "witnesses" to what had happened, when this guy, from out of nowhere, asked me if we were with the girl who committed suicide. Here is my recollection of how the conversation transpired:

Man: Kasama nyo ba iong nagsuicide?!?
Me: Sino ho nagsuicide?
Man: Iong babae?
Me: Sino ho?
Man: Iong babae sa emergency room.
Me: Hindi ho nagsuicide ion. Inatake ion. (sounding irritated)
Man: Ah hindi ba? Kala ko kase nag suicide eh.
Me: (turning to Erdy) Hindi nag suicide si Delaine noh! Hindi mag susuicide ion! Hindi nya magagawa ion!
Erdy: Oo nga, chaka bakit naman sha mag susuicide? Wala naman shang problema ah!
Me: (turning to the man) Kalalaking tao, napaka chismoso!

I honestly wanted to pound the man's face. @#$!@#$!@#$ Hindi magsusuicide si Delaine noh! Ang kakapal ng mukha nio! I decided to go back to the emergency room, but the sight was too much for me to bear. After like 20 - 30 minutes, Michele decided to go home and take care of some things. The rest were waiting for the pick - up from Holy Trinity. I had to say goodbye to them, but I really wanted to go to Holy Trinity. I bade them goodbye, I hugged Steph, and nodded at Kenneth, but when I turned to Tintin, my defenses broke. She turned to me and said, Wala ng Ate D si Kuykuy. I knew she was trying to hold back tears, I just couldn't take it anymore, I hugged her and cried silently. Kaya naten to Tin. Kakayanin naten to. Babalik ako Kame. Samahan ko lang si Michele umuwi.

Erdy drove home and we were all quiet in the car. When we arrived in our compound, Sam was already there, and my defenses nearly broke this time. I hugged him and told him what happened. His arms just told me that I need not worry, I'm here now. Things will be fine.

Although I know that things are going to be fine, I know for a fact that it's not going to be easy. I had to muster enough courage to actually look at the once-lively-house in front of our apartment. I still do not believe that I was able to experience this. It's really different when you just hear that someone you know died. But when you see the bad side of death, it's a totally, new, shocking experience for you. We decided to go back to Holy Trinity, and just stayed there until we knew of what was going to happen.

When I got home that morning, (we went home at around 4:30 am), I had to wait until the sun rose before I had to go to bed. I was tired, but I cant sleep. Everytime I would close my eyes, I would see Delaine, and how she was lying on the floor. What happened. I still cant believe that it happened. Right in front of me. So many questions. So many unanswered questions. So many realizations. So many what ifs.

Delaine,

Thanks for the friendship and the kindness. I will miss you. Salamat talaga sa lahat.




Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord,
And Let the Perpetual Light Shine Upon Her
May She Rest in Peace
Amen

Mary Delaine Ty Santos
March 1, 1980 - September 27, 2006

*** One September Night ***

September 27, 2006 -- It was a usual Wednesday, my day off. I thought of planning to clean my cabinet again, but my bed lured me to sleep. Woke up at around 11 am that day, Sam was playing basketball (his usual Wednesday basketball day). I was happy and relieved. Happy because I finally have the time to play with my babies. Relieved because I finally have a chance to stay at home and rest. As in REST. That week was gruelling because I worked for extended hours after my shift just to help out with recruitment. But the good thing is... I get paid for doing that.

Sam left for the office at past 12. Sajie was at his grandparent's house, playing. Only Ate Josie (our yaya), Nicko and me were at home. I went downstairs to eat at around 12 noon. I noticed the door of the apartment in front of us was closed. I figured, maybe they are still sleeping.

*** Flashback: We moved into our apartment, March of last year. We became friends with the girls who were living infront of our house. They were 5 siblings, Kenneth, Stephanie, Kristine, Delaine and Michele.But only the girls were staying in the apartment. Their Kuya Kenneth, was staying in their aunt's house in BF Homes, another village in Parañaque. Their mom is working and is staying Japan, and their mom comes home, every year. All of them including Kenneth, became so much fond of Nicko. Nicko became their "baby" and all of them took turns in taking care of our dear "Kuykuy".

The youngest, Michele, became Nicko's grandmother. Since Ate Josie was always left at home to take care of the kids, she became close to them, and sometimes, they would even help out in taking care of the kids. I, on the other hand became close to Delaine and Tintin. Delaine, was my age, she was 7 months older than me. And ever since she resigned from her work last year, she just stayed in their house. Only going out to get Nicko or play or talk to Nicko I remember, one night in November last year, we stayed talking until 5 in the morning We didn't even know what time that was, we just found out that it was already 5 when Sam came out and told me that it was already 5 in the morning. I wasn't able to go to work that day. :D

The sisters were a big help to us especially when Ate Josie went home to Bohol last January, Delaine would often get Nicko in the morning before I go to work, and they will take care of them until we arrive from work. Their patience and dedication in taking care of Nicko and Sajie is always, always appreciated. And we really, really thank them so much for their kindness and for their friendship.

Going back, since I had been busy with recruitment stuff, I haven't seen Delaine in I guess, two weeks. We would just forward quotes to each other. She would always text me in the morning, and would send me messages regarding friendship, love, and sex. Hehehehe....

That day, instead of doing my normal nap in the afternoon, I didn't sleep. I was just playing with Nicko in our bedroom. It's a normal day, I guess. I went downstairs to have my merienda at around 4pm. This time, I noticed that the door is already open. The screen was locked, as usual, but the door was open. I found out from Ate Josie, that Delaine just came back from meeting her mom's friend.

Anyway, the hours passed, Milenyo was already making it's way towards Manila. We can already feel the gusty winds and the rain has started to pour, Sajie was already home, Ate was cooking dinner, and I was taking care of ths kids. Nicko was sleepy already, so I decided to put him to sleep. Apparently, it was still early, and Steph came home at around 7:45 pm, Nicko heard her voice, I decided to go down and give Nicko to Steph, and watched Deal or No Deal with Sajie. 15 minutes has passed, Delaine was still not opening the door. Seems odd. I figured. But I guess she's just asleep. There were no lights in their bedroom. Maybe she is sleeping. I got the bubble gun that I bought for Sajie and started playing with it. We went outside and played with is as well. 30 minutes has passed, Delaine was still not opening the door. Steph decided to call their landline. I got my cell phone, called her phone and their land line. No answer. No movement whatsoever. I was thinking, maybe there is something wrong. But since Steph was just calm, I decided to shrug it off. Michele arrived at around 8:15 pm, Ate got the pile of chairs and got the long metal that we used to hang our clothes and tapped the aircon, and their bedroom window. Nothing. No answer. No movement. They were saying that she was sleeping. After like 20 minutes since Michele arrived, (an hour after Steph came home) I told them that maybe we should wreck the screen door already because they can't go in as Delaine was not answering. I got my tools. The one that I use to make beads and bracelets, and carefully wrecked the screen door, just enough to reach the lock. When I stood at their door, my hands began to shake, and I was sensing that something was very, very, very wrong. I decided not to tell them about what I was feeling. But this time, I knew for a fact that something is terribly wrong. The radio was playing, Delaine wasnt answering. Did something bad happened to her? These were all what I was thinking when I was wrecking the door. After 10 minutes, we were able to open the door. I left our door partially open as I headed for the comfort room to take a bath. I was waiting for something.
As I was about to enter our bathroom, I heard them shout, Michele came out of their house, crying and was hysterical. My fear had turned into a reality. I immediately went into the house, went upstairs and saw Steph and Delaine. Delaine was on the floor. (With all due respect, I choose not to elaborate what I really saw.) And from what I saw, she was lifeless. Read that. LIFELESS.

I rushed downstairs, grabbed the phone, and went outside, trying hard to think of who to call. What is the number of the hospital? The ambulance? My brain was too fried to think. I was sooo shocked. Our neighbors came rushing. Steph was still with Delaine, Michele was in hysteria. People were asking me what to do. I dont know! I shouted that the kids should not be allowed to come out. For fear of trauma. At that point, I just wish that my mind was functioning. We needed help. We needed an ambulance. We need to bring Delaine to the hospital. I rushed to the guard in our subdivision, and asked them to contact an ambulance. We have to have a car so we can bring her to the hospital. How fortunate was it, that during that time, there were no cars available!!! Good thing, the husband of Ate Rosie, was home, and we just decided to use their car eventhough it was just a Kia. Papa Jun and Kuya Jay -R were asking me what to do. Papa Jun told me that they are going to bring Delaine down already. They brought her down. And I knew that she is already lifeless. She was stiff and cold and her color has already drained from her body. They placed her in the car, but since she is kinda tall, she wouldn't fit the Kia Pride. She was longer than the car. We cant bend her joints. (Everytime I close my eyes, I remember the way that she looked like... it will take a long, long time before I will ever forget this.)

I tried calling Tin-tin. They were trying to figure how to bring her to the hospital. After like 20 minutes, the ambulance came, we were able to contact their other sister, Tin-tin. I had to tell her what happened. To my surprise, she was so calm. They just left, which left me with Michele and their house to look after. Michele was crying, I was in total shock. TOTAL SHOCK. No words can describe what I was feeling that time. I felt tired. I wanted to cry, but tears were not coming out. I wanted to shout and be relieved from what ever I was feeling. I knew it was going to be a long night. And it was. IT WAS. *** to be continued... ***

*** Waaaahhhhh ***

I just wanna shout. I dont think I will get used to this immediately. It will take some time getting used to. It will take some time getting used to see another girl in Carmen's old post. Tsk. Tsk. For almost three years, I was used to seeing the girl with the glasses. Now, there's another girl sitting there. I wonder how the other guys will react to this. Well, whatever. This is just my opinion.

Whew! Wish I will also have the strength to say goodbye to the Ionic Breezes. Yeah, I know I will. And I hope it will be sooner rather than later.

*** Quote for the Day ***

"Bless you for your patience..."
- Customer to me

*** Hahahaha.... Like as if....

*** Missing Sourgirl ***

Dear Carmen, (Sourgirl)

Hi! Im sorry I wasnt able to to stay longer on Sunday. It just passed my mind that it was your last day in the office, and with the state that I am in the last two weeks, I wasn't thinking straight. Well, guess I really wasn't.

The floor will never be the same without you. My lunch and CR breaks will never, ever be the same because my lunch buddy, CR mate, officemate, gerbax mate and friend left me here in this freezing office. (Whatever you wanna call it). :C

Though I am happy for you cuz I know this is what you really want. I have always thought that I will be the first one to say goodbye to the Ionic Breezes. Boy am I wrong. I never expected you'd resign this early. Cross that out. Make that this immediate.

Baklang to! Hindi ko talaga inieexpect na magreresign ka na at inunahan mo pa ako! :C Bakit naman ganon?
Bakit naman? Hehehehe....

Hanggang ngayon kase hindi pa nagsisink sa ken lahat ng mga nangyari. Feeling ko nga kelangan ko ng psychologist na to help me cope up sa lahat ng 'stessors' ko the last week. Isama mo na iong bagyo, iong brownout, iong pagkwala ng tubig non bagyo, iong pagreresign mo.... chaka iong pinakamatinding nangyari sa ken

But anyhow, I am really, really happy for you. I know I'll see you again... We can still go out and see each other pa naman...

And like what I told you...

You're in my life for a reason, thus I welcome you into my heart with open arms. Thanks for the gift of your friendship. It's not how short or long you stay. The point is.... You came.

Thanks for the friendship Mheng. Good luck on your new job. You always take care of yourself. And time and time again, I will text you and ask if you're pregnant. :D

Basta Bakla, I will miss you. Sobra.

Lovelots,

Nela (Buchokoy)

*** Einstein's Riddle ***

*** A mind boggler for all my readers out there :D ... Let's see if you can figure this out. ***

CLUES:

1. There are 5 houses in 5 different colors.
2. In each house, lives a person with a different nationality.
3. 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage.
4. They smoke a certain brand of cigar.
5. They keep a certain pet.
6. No owners have the same pet.
7. No owners smoke the same brand of cigar.
8. No owners drink the same beverage.

QUESTION: ***** WHO OWNS THE FISH?!? *****

FACTS:

* The Brit is in the red house.

* The Swede keeps a dog.

* The Dane drinks tea.

* The green house is on the left of the white house.

* The owner of the green house drinks coffee.

* The person who smokes Poll Moll rears birds.

* The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.

* The man living in the center house drinks milk.

* The Norwegian lives in the first house.

* The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.

* The man who keeps the horse lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.

* The owner who smokes Bluemaster drinks beer.

* The German smokes Prince.

* The Norwegian lives next to the Blue house.

* The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.