When I first found out that I was pregnant with Sajie, i was asked by my friend if sam and i will get married. I answered with conviction: "No, Of course not. I guess not at this time". Then he asked why, I answered, still with conviction.. "Because we are not yet ready"... and honestly, we are not...
I guess parenthood and marriage are two different things. It's like silver and blue. Although,they go along very well, it's hard to just make it work together. Both deals with emotional maturity and physical readiness.
I believe that having kids is not the sole reason for getting married at the wrong time. I mean, if at that certain point in your life, you feel that having a kid is overwhelming, they why even give yourself the added grief of getting married? Because...most of us will answer....that is the most right thing to do....
NOT! Having an unplanned baby is not reason enough for you to settle down with the father of your kid. For me, marriage is sacred, marriage is your whole life devotion to your partner. If in the crossroads of your relationship, you realize that the father of your kid is the man that you want to grow old with -- then go ahead, take the next step and get married. No problem there. But if you feel that you are not yet ready to tie the knot -- even if you have kids -- then don't take that risk. Better to be cautious than to be very sorry in the end.
In my case, I have two sons, but it seems like marriage is still very far in line. Although, I am still with the father of my kids, it feels like we are not yet ready to get married at this point in time. Why you may ask...because there are so many things that you have to consider before getting married. And believe me, marriage is just not all about love.
YUP! Marriage is not all about love. It's about 2 people living together, trying to work out every single thing that's different about each other. It's accepting your partner and loving all his / her shortcomings, his / her mistakes. Marriage is all bout acceptance, devotion, committment, love, trust, etc.etc.
No person or situation can ever dictate you in getting married. You and your partner alone can only decide as to when will be the right time for you to say the magic word "I Do".For when that the perfect time comes, there is no reason for you to avoid it either.
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2 comments:
Wandering around and I stumbled upon your views on marriage.
Funny, it's somewhat similar to my view on having children.
Been married for almost 8 years to someone I dated 10 years before that. And we've decided early on not to have children.
It's been tough getting that picture across to my parents and aunties and uncles, who are still somewhat hoping that we'll change our minds. But I guess how they deal with it is their problem.
Greetings from San Francisco,
Christina
Hi Christina,
Im suprised.
Never knew that somebody actually reads my blog. :D Thanks for the comment. I guess, people have different opinions and have different decisions. There is nothing wrong if you and your husband decided not to have ny children. I respect that decision. In my case, I have two kids, and still don't have any intentions of getting married. But I will probably, just not at this time.
Kids bring a different, unexplainable bond for couples. Parenthood is an overwhelming experience. But regardless of all of this, i commend you and your husband for your decision.
Wishing you all the best,
anela
manila, philippines
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