The Night Before

It was exactly 2 Saturdays ago when it happened. The day started out pretty well. I was in a total nerve wreck the whole day. This is the day that him and I will talk. I started to get ready around 5 in the afternoon. It was difficult to talk to him the whole day. We originally plan to meet at 9pm, but he changed his mind, and wanted to meet at 8pm. I was okay with the original plan, but was uncertain with the new time. I told him, I don't think I can make it on time but he was insistent that we meet 8. Oh well, though I knew that I wouldn't reach our meeting place at 8pm, I just said yes. In a way, I was "under his mercy" because I was the one who asked again for the talk. And this time, I wasn't able to do what we agreed.

The original agreement was not to text him, and for me to wait for him to text me. Unfortunately, I was not able to do this. And honestly I don't know why.

I texted him around 6pm asking where we will meet. He replied saying that he will text me later. Later. I was already at the bus, but then again, there was heavy traffic so I just said okay. He texted me around 8pm, asking me where I was. I told him I was at Alabang and I needed to know where we will meet. I was already near Toyota Alabang when he replied that we will meet at Carwash.

Carwash. The place of all places. I was there a couple of weeks back for a get together, but this is different. Then, I was with friends. But today, I was with Him. Him-whose-name-I-won't-deign-to-mention. I was at Carwash with HIM.

Oh my. Of all the places and of all the people, and of all the dates. But this is what I wanted. So no matter where and when, I should be able to handle this. After all, I wanted this talk. I asked for this talk.

I arrived first. I was so shaky and wobbly. However, I knew I had to act like as if it doesn't matter. Pretend I was fine. Make him see that I am, and will be okay. But if he just know how my heart wants to jump out of my chest.

He arrived some 15 minutes later. Despite my throbbing heart and shaking hands, I still had the guts to look at him. And I knew right on that he was drunk. He smelled like beer, and could not even walk straight.

He sat in front of me. I smiled and asked him if he wanted to eat. He apologized and said that he already had an earlier drinking session because it was the birthday of his Uncle. Okay. No fuss about that. I was a bit disappointed because he knew we were going to talk. But still at least he came. That's the most important thing.

It could've been a more fruitful conversation if he was not drunk. He was moody and a bit agitated. Oh well. How it ended? ... It could've ended better...